the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
