I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
