Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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