just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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