she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
