Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
