Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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