You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
