Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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