So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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