Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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