Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
