Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
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You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
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I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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