there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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