I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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