i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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