no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
