dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
