I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
So many bounce houses so little time
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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