just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Randomize
