I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
