is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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