Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
