hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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