HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize