Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize