Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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