Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
