im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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