Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize