Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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