yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
