roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I need a beard to bite.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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