ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Everclear isn't food dammit
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