I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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