dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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