yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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