Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
