im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
