someone threw a dead crab at me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
