I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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