im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
