I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
