me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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