We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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