you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
