you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
