no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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