sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Screwed.edu
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
