I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
