Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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