my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize