There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize