You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
