She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
