remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize