I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
