what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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