Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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